Author Topic: WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END  (Read 555 times)

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Offline Gonzo_Descente

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WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END
« on: May 08, 2018, 08:48:16 PM »
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment.
Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise..
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to 'Press one for English' when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager (senior teenager).


I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later:
- I don’t have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don’t have a curfew.
- I have a driver’s license and my own car.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don’t have acne.

Offline So.WUT

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Re: WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2018, 08:18:18 AM »
SUPER FUNNY STUFF !   I LOVE A GOOD LAUGH

Offline utherjorge

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Re: WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2018, 03:47:27 PM »
none of us get out of this life alive

Offline dvddnls

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Re: WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2018, 06:13:19 PM »
I remember growing up, going to school and riding on a school bus everyday. Our bus driver, a retired marine named Ms. Sylvia would tell us as we passed by the cemetery en-route to/from school ........................ "People are just dying to get in there!"